Birthday wishes not made, as there were no candles...

I couldn't make it in time to blog this unexpected, unforseen, unhappy experience and date the event on its actual day itself. I have never been so bitter on my birthday till now. Actually I lied, birthday last year sucked and birthday this year sucked. So that makes two birthdays in a row that sucked. Expect more procrastination tomorrow. This is just the beginning.... Too depressed to blog about what I thought was an exciting day but due to ONE individual who changed the concept and enthusiasm of birthdays, hence ruining my very own birthday.

Last year, I sugar coated my entry on xanga. Excluding all depressing details of my birthday. I got a beautiful watch for my birthday with diamonds on it, dinner at an expensive restaurant that was overlooking downtown San Francisco (with mediocre food and horrible service). My significant other made reservations at this restaurant in attempt to celebrate my birthday. I did enjoy the view but the rest was at par. There was no birthday cake nor was there candles for me to make a wish. The night ended fairly early and that was it.

This year, he made reservations at a restaurant that we frequently dine at. He came to pick me up from my house bearing a cake and left it above the shoe rack. He didn't bother to come in or take off his shoes. He was standing at the doorstep, awaiting for me to get ready. Then I saw the cake and was all giggly because he got me a cake. Being as excited as I was, I carefully made space in the fridge to place the cake. Then I realized that it might be an ice-cream cake. So his reply was, "Put it wherever you like to." I repeated the question, "Is this an ice-cream cake?" His answer once again was, "Put it wherenever you like to." Obviously he was not comprehending my question. So I stuck my finger into the cake to find out whether it was going to melt. Indeed NOT ice-cream cake, hence left it in the fridge.

This restaurant that we were dining at, I would call it casual dining as men can get away with jeans, sweatshirt and sandals. Hence, casual dining. Me dressed up all cute hoping for an exciting night to come, OUTCOME:5 stars out of 10. We had dinner as usual like how we would any other night. The S.O did not announce to the waiter potentially it was my birthday. Let me take that back, it wasn't YET. Maybe that was why. I pulled out my camera, hoping to capture this moment of pre-birthday celebration but he insisted that it was embarassing to be taking pictures in a restaurant. So I put the camera away. He paid for dinner and we just went back to my house. Sat around and watched tv. Yes what a birthday celebration.

I was in for a treat when my roommates came home with a cake and the spirit of celebration. They were snapping pictures all over the place. Of course the S.O had to snap pictures because we were in the presence of other people. My roommates were so excited just being there with me and whole heartedly singing the bday song. Since it wasn't my bday yet I had to wait till the following day to open my presents although my S.O was pestering me to open them. As the clock struck midnight and my roommates went home (to her parent's house), my S.O was urging me to open my presents. He passed me one and started to open my other present. I was irritated because I love slowly un-tying the ribbons and reading the card PRIOR to opening the presents and they are MINE not his! I just snatched the present away and he said, "Ok, I am going to leave you alone. I am tired and goodnight!"

New address

There seems to be some problem with my xanga. Hence after clicking on my friend's blog (thanks, Jen for re-introducing me a new way to 'unconditionally articulate'), I have decided to migrate to the new 'outer-xanga-space'. The features are not as intense but it looks a little more on the user-friendly end with no costs incurred.

I have been recently feeling awfully tired and overwhelmed. Both at work, with life and trying to catch up with old friends. I always had a passion for work and for fulfilling my dreams/desires. Now it's time to focus on what's best for me and what do I 'really' want to do.

Life happens in chapters:

• First chapter, learn how to walk.
• Second chapter, learn how to talk.
• Third, learn how to fight.
• Fourth, learn how to study with all your might.

Pretty soon, you are off and on your own. The world of politics, the world of work-a-holics, the world of Assholes. The art of 'B.S-ing' comes handy if and when your intention is to climb up the good ol' Corporate America. Want to survive the brutality at your workplace, READ: The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton. Brilliant! The basic common sense and 'tactics' of surviving a harsh work environment! Pretty soon it's going to be a mandatory orientation hit with the H.R personnel (or better known as Talent Management these days..) or perhaps have it embedded into company's policy?

Finally I've gotten the hang of it. After 7 years of mingling and observing from the sidelines. I am not up there yet but patiently building my fort, awaiting for the next opportunity to open up before I charge and conquer! Those endless nights and sick days are showing some ROI's. I wouldn't call being sick 'invested time', but I felt that I have paid off my dues.

So much has happened over the past few years. I feel that everything has flown over my head. Friends, family that have passed, friends that have moved on/away.... Let's just say, it's about time to reconnect and rekindle some relationships.